This year’s official Kitsch/Posh endorsement for the presidency of the Harvard Undergraduate Council goes to the LONG JOHNSON ticket. [Long Johnson '09]
Here are some of the slogans they are running with:
Touching students everywhere.
We don’t go soft.
Servicing the student body.
Erecting a better Harvard.
Last year, the establishment managed to defeat the candidacy of Herr Michael Koenigs and that freshman chick from Alaska (McCain totally ripped that one off) by deploying an array of inside-job fake opposition tickets to split the dissenting vote. This time, however, there are only three tickets running…
But the monopoly of control over the political process has become complacent in its power and revealed its true nature: The Bowman/Hysen pair has received the endorsement of both the Democrats AND the Republicans. Showing that the two-party system is a shitshow designed to distract the masses while the powerful funnel the people’s money into their massive slush funds and distribute them to their friends, loyal supporters, and possibly prostitutes. They are so shameless that they even completely stole the web design of Long Johnson. [Bowman|Hysen for UC]
[...] by the same firm that built Hitler’s bunker.” Mather is also known for its plans to take over the student body. On top of that, Conan, president of the The Harvard Lampoon, and [...]