Archive for the ‘n00bs’ Category

Who dick bigger?

Monday, October 13th, 2008

A Saudi Arabian prince announces plans to spend 26.7 billion dollars to build the tallest building in the world, over 1 km high. Not to be outdone, Dubai, which currently holds the record, also says they plan the same. [CNN]

Look here, this is getting a little insane. There hasn’t been some sort of a major materials engineering breakthrough. What has happened is a massive accumulation of capital in the hands of a few people that collect rent on minerals extraction.

But this is at least a whole order of magnitude smaller than the amount of capital that Americans burned on housing. Three hundred million idiots are better than one.

Kazuyoshi Miura dead

Saturday, October 11th, 2008

Kazuyoshi Miura was a Japanese businessman who was accused of taking out a hit on his wife during a 1981 trip to L.A. In Japan, he was convicted of murder but then acquitted on appeal. Apparently after that he figured that he was off the hook, and made trips to Saipan, a U.S. Territory, where he was arrested earlier this year. He was extradited to California to face conspiracy charges, and committed suicide within a day of arrival. [CNN]

Apparently, with Mark Geragos as your attorney, even a 27-year-old case, in which you’ve already been acquitted of the main murder charge, is pretty hopeless.

The U.S. authorities had to catch him on U.S. soil rather than try him for conspiracy in Japan, why? Because conspiracy is not a crime in Japan. I know nothing about Japanese law, but I’ve heard that bit because Jack McCoy said it in a Law & Order episode, “Gaijin,” in which a Japanese businessman is accused of taking out a hit on his wife during a trip to New York. Rather than try him in Japan or extradite him, Fred Thompson Arthur Branch is able to arrest the suspect by fooling him into a voluntary trip to New York—by convincing him that he’s off the hook with an announcement that they have the murderer and an invitation for him to be a witness.

This episode aired in 2004. And life takes after fiction, as U.S. authorities in 2008 make a surprise arrest of the Japanese suspect during a voluntary trip to American lands.

Kaesong Industrial Region of Elbonia

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

From the “business” section of North Korea’s official website:

From Dilbert:

We would still choose Elbonia.

Depression Hits! Singapore in flames, sinking into the ocean.

Monday, October 6th, 2008

On Bloomberg.com, it says that the Straits Times futures are down 90%:

Ok, this is just getting creepy

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

Some commentators poke fun and warn about the “cult-like feel” of Obama’s campaign, but sometimes Obama adds fuel to the fire:

Three readers from different parts of the country email that Channel 073-00 on the Dish Network is now labeled OBAMA. (“What is up with Sen. Obama having his own channel?” asks a St. Louis reader.) The channel plays his two-minute ad laying out his economic plan on a loop, over and over.

Will The Obama Channel broadcast the Biden/Palin debate tonight?  It would awesome if they just replace Palin’s image with a moose or run Obama commercials in the background when it’s her turn to speak.

Bailout, plus foreign policy bits

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008
  • Barack Obama, John McCain, and Joe Biden, along with the rest of the Senate except Ted Kennedy, were in town for the bailout vote this evening. The text of the Senate resolution, which was approved 74-25, can be found here.
  • We don’t feel expert enough to opine at great length about the bailout at this moment; what we will report is that the biggest portion of the student population here at Harvard College, including the editorial staff of the Crimson, seems to be in favor. We note that this is totally expected.
  • Various events in international politics are surely slipping past many people’s radars due to the current financial crisis:
  • The Senate decided to take care of some other random business before the bailout vote (because figured that Barack and John Sidney couldn’t hightail it out of there before they cast their yea for that?), like passing some motion for the railroad safety bill (more random tidbit: Joe Biden didn’t vote on that motion) that got a boost from the recent L.A. train wreck, and the U.S.-India nuclear deal, which was ratified 86-13.
  • Potentially, India is our new China. (but who are the new Henry Kissinger and Zhou Enlai?) Depending on how the bilateral relationship pans out over the years, this could end up as the-one-universally praised-accomplishment-by-an-otherwise-terrible-president, i.e., exactly how Nixon is remembered with regards to his China policy.
  • On the other hand, North Korea was in the news again—Christopher Hill (who is now more famous in Korea than Coca Cola) is in Pyongyang trying to save the disarmament deal after the North Koreans started rebuilding their nuclear facilities.

Take Your Dad to CBS Interview Day

Monday, September 29th, 2008

Since basically everyone agrees that Sarah Palin bombed her first CBS interview and her initial folksy appeal dwindles daily, the McCain campaign today brought John McCain and Palin together to hold a joint interview with Katie Couric (read: Palin really screwed up).  Behold how our once future president from the year 2000 blames “gotcha journalism” for Palin’s apparent gaffe:

Given that we are less than a week from the only VP debate, the campaign has sent Palin to McCain Intro 101 debate camp to make sure she can say things other than Alaska is next to Russia.  We at K/P remember fondly our time in summer camps years ago…making friends, roasting marshmallows, and preparing to debate Joe Biden on foreign policy and the economy.  We hope that by the end of camp she will realize she made a mistake and confused John McCain for Ron Paul.

We will liveblog the VP debate, probably from Mather House or Wasillastan.  Stay tuned!

Ron Paul leads the House GOP back to its roots

Friday, September 26th, 2008

The mainstream media isn’t giving him any coverage, but here at K/P we can see that Ron Paul, despite his total irrelevance due to his entire constituency having been “disappeared” by FEMA, is spearheading the House GOP’s revolt against the Paulson-Wall St. socialist bailout plan.

Also we will liveblog the debate, if it happens. Do you think Barack will do a concert instead if McCain doesn’t show up? Will McCain call his opponent Osama? We sure hope so; stay tuned.

EDIT: Obama agrees: secret Illuminati weather-control project created Hurricane Ike to destroy Ron Paul’s district.

Al Gore invented the Internet, John McCain created the BlackBerry

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

From CNN:

McCain senior domestic policy adviser Douglas Holtz-Eakin said Tuesday the BlackBerry mobile e-mail device was a “miracle that John McCain helped create.”

Holtz-Eakin should watch out.  Calling it a “miracle” goes into St. Barack territory.

SarahPalin.com

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

The McCain campaign is restricting the media’s access to SarahPalin.com, just like she hid her teenage daughter’s pregnancy. There was a squatter before; check out the Internet Archive of SarahPalin.com here.

The Daily Telegraph thinks that Senate seats can be inherited

Monday, September 8th, 2008

Discovered this other bit while reading the day’s Daily Telegraph:

Beau Biden, 39, elder son of Senator Joe Biden, Mr Obama’s running mate, is scheduled to go to Iraq early next year. Beau Biden is attorney general of Delaware and a captain in the legal corps of the US Army’s National Guard. He is in line to inherit his father’s Senate seat should Mr Obama win the White House.

Damn Tories. They must be forgetting in a fit of wishful thinking that even their own House of Lords no longer has inheritable seats.

Kim Jong Il died five years ago. jk

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

from the Telegraph:

Prof Shigemura says Kim was not seen in public for the 42 days after September 10, 2003, and in his book “The True Character of Kim Jong Il” claims the man that North Koreans refer to as the “Dear Leader” died of diabetes.

We were sort of excited but then learned here that this recent attention to the claim is because of an article [subscription required] in Shukan Gendai, a trashy “news” magazine whose claim to fame is having published nude photos of gold medal-winning Romanian gymnasts in their official team leotards. [We realize that the preceding sentence doesn't make sense; but the whole shitstorm involved the uniforms and some nude photos, related, somehow.] The Independent also ran a story on KJI today (on which Yonhap reported), but is characteristically far less bullish (or, has far less bullshit):

Speculation was mounting last night over the health of the North Korean leader, Kim Jong Il. He has not been seen in public for more than three weeks, and, according to a source who has seen intelligence reports, five Chinese physicians entered North Korea about a week ago and are still there.

But our guess is that KJI is still alive and well, since we haven’t yet heard of any reports of a secret plane flight from North Korea to Cuba.