From CNN:
According to financial affidavits filed in divorce court near Tampa, Florida, Hogan claims his net worth is $32 million; his wife claims it’s $26.7 million.
You need to say you have less money, not more. Or maybe CNN screwed up again.
Archive for the ‘n00bs’ Category
Hulk, you are doing it wrong
Friday, September 5th, 2008Liveblogging WALNUTS!
Thursday, September 4th, 2008Liveblogging RNC Day 2.5
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008Evan Bayh
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
Word on the Internet is that he is Obama’s VP. Maybe. [Screenshot posted on The Free Republic]
The cited screenshot is clearly fake. But will this be a Dan Rather moment for the Free Republic? (I don’t mean Rathergate, but rather the younger Rather who made shit up which turned out to be true.)
Upon closer inspection, the screenshot definitely is a fake.
- The webpage title on the IE window title bar and tab title bar are different. Also, a apostrophe is in the Windows taskbar but not the window title bar.
- Here’s the real article “Analysis: Countdown is on for Obama’s VP Announcement.” [CNN]
- The “Story Highlights” are the same between the alleged screenshot and the CNN article
- “updated 8:13 p.m. EDT” has weird spacing. Probably because the hoax maker replaced “10:51 a.m.,” which is on the real article.
- The font is “wrong”—the main article text and “Story Highlights” text are supposed to have the same font, but in the alleged screenshot they are differently blurred.
All in all, everything indicates that “roses of sharon” manufactured this “screenshot” by taking a screenshot of the “Countdown is on” article from CNN and modifying certain aspects of it (headline, text, photo, etc.) while ineptly leaving certain aspects unchanged (tab title bar, “Story Highlights”).
A patch we can’t believe in
Monday, July 28th, 2008As I was looking at the new updates for Windows Vista, I came across this Microsoft patch. This is the problem it fixes:
In Windows Vista and in Windows Server 2008, when you check the spelling of English language text in an application that uses the English dictionary, all the following words cannot be recognized and are flagged as being misspelled:
• Friendster • Klum • Nazr • Obama • Racicot
OBAMA.
How could Microsoft not recognize Obama for so long? I decided to check if this was true by writing one of kitsch-posh’s regular e-mails using Windows Mail.
Before the patch:
Replace Obama with Osama? That’s not change we can believe in. Microsoft also does not recognize the term “Wahabi” and thinks it’s a Japanese spice. At least they should have suggested “Wahhabi,” the well-known version of the word.
But worst of all…
Microsoft suggests changing “Wahabism” to “Arabism.” Oh boy.
The patch only resolved the Obama-Osama problem. I had to manually add the other words to Mail’s database; these included Wahabi, Wahabism, Barack (suggestion Barrack), Soetoro, and some of the cities.
And while Microsoft suggests that Barack should be Barrack, Google disagrees:
It’s said that Barack (Barrack?) is the first to successfully bring the Internet into politics. But perhaps what he’s really done is to bring politics into the Internet; even he can’t transcend the Google vs. Microsoft War.
I’m a YouTube Whore 5: willzling strikes back
Thursday, July 10th, 2008So, willzling, if you remember, was that noob who posted all of the new Indiana Jones movie. Well guess what: he’s been busily outdoing himself, posting Hancock (I guess his hand-cock wish for 50 subscribers was fulfilled) and WALL-E.
In fact, it seems that his angry comment on our fake WALL-E video understated his angst: the title to the first part of Hancock was “HANCOCK Full Movie (No rick roll, this is the real) part 1.” It’s “Rick Roll,” willzling. But it seems that he didn’t get that much of a chance to masturbate watching his view count go up, because both of them have been swiftly removed by YouTube; so we’re going to call this yet another victory for the Internets.
I’m a YouTube Whore 4
Sunday, July 6th, 2008After our initial success against Earl (that lame kid who thought putting up the whole Iron Man film on YouTube might win him some friends), we figured, how about we try and Rick Roll the likes of him and his viewers? (Yes, this is a tired old idea. Totally toast.)
So, ladies and gentlemen, Kitsch/Posh presents: YouTube – WALL-E FULL MOVIE PART 1/9
We had hoped to attract some nasty comments, and after some hours we finally got a good one, from willzling:
fucking gay ass faggot im gonna come to ur house and fucking shove my foot up your fucking ass fucking homo im gonna kill you and ur family then im gonna fucking rape ur mom
So naturally we are curious to know who this guy is. Turns out this noob uploaded all of “Indiana Jones 4″ on YouTube.
We had a look at one of the videos to see if it was real, and indeed it does seem to be. And the video description states: “ok everyone once i get 50 subscriptions I’ll upload hancock so start subscribing!!!” It sounds like the more likely thing to happen is that once he has 50 subscriptions, he’ll have a hand-cock party by himself on his bunk in grandma’s basement. He has 24 subscribers as of right now. Chances are, the party will go on regardless of subscription numbers.
A quick look at the comments section reveals a recent, violent dispute with BloodyBay, a self-described YouTube spam-fighter. He would like to point out that some of of the subscribers to willzling’s channel are named “willzling1″ or “willzling2.” Good observation, BloodyBay; we didn’t even notice when we scanned his subscribers list.
Drudge: SMOG IN BEIJING 5X SAFTEY LIMIT…
Saturday, July 5th, 2008
CNN: Traditions, fun and solumn, mark July Fourth
Friday, July 4th, 2008
-L & M.
Oh China
Friday, July 4th, 2008Chinese hoaxes encounter the Internet. Epic absurdity ensues.
Betancourt’s rescue story just keeps getting better
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008The recent rescue of former Colombian presidential candidate Ingrid Betancourt, three American contractors, and eleven Colombians from the FARC has not only shown the impressive ability of the Colombian military and intelligence forces (take note, Venezuela and Ecuador), but, according to popular anti-Castro blog The Real Cuba, Fidel’s old Argentine pal had a small role in the liberation:
Betancourt related how a white helicopter arrived, with no visible signs on its fuselage, and several people came out wearing logos from some unspecified organization and wearing che Guevara t-shirts. Betancourt said that when she saw that they were wearing che t-shirts she was convinced that it was a FARC operation and that the hostages were just going to be transferred to another location under control of the guerrillas.
The Colombian forces used the well-known symbol of the useful idiots against the masters. As Colombian Defense Minister Juan Manuel Santos said, “Jaque.” That means “check”(mate) in English and “LOL PWNED”(n00bs) in Internets.
So the next time you see a person who knows nothing about Che Guevara walking down the street wearing a Che Guevara T-Shirt or military beret, please thank that person. He or she finally did something “useful.”
-L.