As far as we can tell, this is actually the whole film and not a hoax. It’s been up there for a whole week now. Some people are commenting “thank you” but we think this guy is stupid. This was clearly done simply in a cheap attempt to generate more traffic for his real Youtube channel, earlpwns8, which only has some really loser-sounding videos like “How to make a real virus” and “Make your computer faster.” We would watch the videos to make fun of them but doing so would give him such a huge boost in views count that we can’t in good conscience.

According to his profile, “Earl” is 106 years old and unemployed. We almost believed this because, we thought, only a 106 year-old coot would fail so badly at Internet and Life. But we were forgetting about teenage boys; Earl is actually some high-school outcast who probably thinks that if he could only get 1000 views on his YouTube channel he would be important enough that the girl he’s been unsuccessfully wooing for the past ten years might notice that he exists. Here’s news for Earl: that girl has an anonymous YouTube account with just this one video of her stripping in front of a webcam, and it has a hundred times more views than “Make your computer faster.” So your grand master plan 2.0rc1 to get her to notice you by becoming “famous” on YouTube was never going to fly. Go watch some kiddie porn while wallowing in your shame and loneliness.

If Earl thinks he is so good with computers, maybe he somehow managed to get a digital copy of the film to post on YouTube? But actually doing so would require skills and manhood which he obviously lacks, and a quick look in the comments section of his Iron Man videos indicates he taped it with a videocamera. He says he’s busily “downloading” “You Don’t mass [sic] with the Zohan.” Well, good luck with that, Earl. We hope that when the YouTube police finds your Iron Man videos, they’ll ban all six of your accounts that you made to reference each other so that you can pretend you have friends on YouTube.

We’re gonna go flag/report the Iron Man videos and help get this kid off the Internet, for all our sakes.

As far as the environmental/ecological message (which is the first thing that hits you because the movie begins with views of America covered in trash) goes, they opted for pretty not subtle. New York City COVERED IN GIANT MOUNTAINS OF RUBBISH is a somewhat childish way of thinking about environmental impact, but then again so are things like the whole World SUBMERGED IN ONE VAST OCEAN OF MELTED ARCTIC ICE (like a certain other great movie and some other crappy ones). The Earth could’ve been made to be post-apocalyptic in any one of the several other standard ways, so the garbage is probably more crucial for the development of the WALL-E character, to which the film swiftly moves after giving us an eyeful of what the world could look like in the future (actually no. We’re not in danger of having our planet covered in garbage like in the movie, because we probably don’t even have enough mineral resources to produce enough goods such that it could even possibly become trash in the amounts depicted. but okay.)

At the start of the film, WALL-E the is the sole, um, being that’s on the earth apart from his only friend, the post-nuclear-holocaust cockroach (but no nuclear war in this movie). As the name Waste Allocation Load Lifter suggests, WALL-E’s mission is to take garbage, compact it into blocks, then stack those up neatly so that they’re not so nastily strewn about. We later learn that he must’ve been doing this job for 700 years or so by the start of the movie, and indeed he has built several impressive garbage towers, as high as the New York skyscrapers right next to which they were placed (but there’s still plenty left to go). WALL-E is a proletariat of one, with an endless and menial mission for which labors every day (with solar power!); the blocky, grimy appearance (achieved with Pixar black magic) makes a great finish on the industrial working-class image.

The container unit that he spends nights in (I guess he needs to sleep at night because he is solar-powered) is a little museum where he collects lots of little interesting things left over from civilization. I could go on, but let’s not: overall, the film is very character driven. WALL-E, Eve, and other robots are very witty and charming—the people (yes there are people) are not. The surviving humans are those who left on a cruise space ship where robots run everything and do all the work (there’s a human captain but he doesn’t do anything, at least until the plot gets rolling), so the people have become lazy and fat. The robots are much more sophisticated, in that they have many personalities and a complex social order, than the humans that seemingly have no real discernible personalities and are rather like domestic cats, minus everything good about cats.

I guess I won’t give away what comes to pass, because you should consider seeing it soon at your local cinema.

-M.